What exactly happened?
Y'know, I wish I could answer that meself! I really fac'in do!
But one minute you're rolling around on Kentish Town Road in a pool of your own vomit and urine, the next
you're in Southampton encouraging us to go and see the Chilli Peppers 'do' Hyde Park like it's 1997 all over again....
Yeeah, it's been emotional, I can fac'in tell ya. I guess ya could just put it daaahn to one dirty night in Angel...
...and Christ, there were many...
Yeah, tell me abaaaht it! Fac'in tell me abahhht it! Yeah, I was just sittin' there with Mar'ee and some fac'in low-life,
when all of a sudden, I felt this warm feelin' grow inside. It just kinda caught me by the nads before oozing all over me
and givin' me this enormous sense o' well-bein', which resulted in this huge fac'er of a grin spreadin' across me face...
What happened?!
Well, abaaaht 5 sec'onds later, I realised I'd soiled meself.
Lovely. But why was this so significant? I seem to remember it happening all the time.
I just sat there and realised that I'd been tryin' to get 'im for abaaaht 5 years, and all I'd achieved was that I'd
set incontinence records worldwide. So I turned to Mar'ee and just started weepin' uncontrollably on 'is shoulder. He knew.
He fac'in knew. So we just looked at each other, shook 'ands, and made our way to the off licence. The geezer says to us 'The
usual'? We look at 'im sternly, and say 'naaah. The last.'
So then what?
I 'ad to go fac'in cold turkey. It was murder, I can tell ya. But 3 days later we went into a cafe and for the first
time in years, Mar'ee managed to taste a good coffee. And I finally got a fac'in cup o' tea...
...Presumably with less than six sugars?
Aw, yer very funny. And we just realised. He got wot he fac'in wanted by makin' us 'omeless. He knew we wouldn't get
'im that way. So we went to another city to find that an independent record shop needed a manager. By this time we'd 'opped
on a train and actually used our spare change for the fare, which felt fac'in surreal. And it fac'in dawned upon me that I
could finally rebuild the Falcon empire somewhere between London an' Poole, so I could bring in fans from both areas as well
as bring in new ones. It worked aahhht perfect. But don't think we've gone soft. We are still gonna get 'im. It's just that
now we 'ave people on our side, as well as money and sobriety. This is just the beginning.
The second coming?
You fac'in said it, you arse!
See this site for Part 2 of this heartwrenching interview. Find out what Marty is up to. Find out how Si got
the job. Find out what he's been listening to (as if you need to ask!) And find out just how he will go about sabotaging 'im....
