Q. Do you have any aspirin? My head hurts!
A. You selfish bastard! We are all mourning the loss of Falcy Ralcys and all you can think about is your head! Special
Brew clearly reads 'extra strong lager'. Now heres a bucket, do your worst!
Q. What is 'The Link'?
A. The link was setup by Marty and your faithful moderater in 1998. It enables us to talk to each other wherever we are
by our pyschic powers. "Yeah, i thought we would have the little rat in no time" remembers Marty. "Ow, the things i would
like a do a 'im follows Simon.
The main purpose was to send out information of where 'he' was to make it easier for Si and Mar to catch
'im'. Marty also used it for regular updates - letting us know what had been going on recently. It got messy when clever dick
interupted. He would really anger the two of them and it strained your moderaters voice!. "I'm a friendly guy, i shared
my copy of Alternative Press, yeah i wanna let people know whats going on" said Marty smiling. "But 'he' got in tha way, he
facked things up, WE COULD AV GOT 'IM' BY NOW" screams Simon. "Simon, will you calm down if i give you the back-wash in this
brew can"? pleads Marty. "uuh, aahh, urhh, yeah go on then"! Said simon unsure of his decision.
Towards the fag-end of 'the link's' useful life it all became a joke. Simon was a full-on brew head and Marty (also partial
to a brew) had lost control of him. "I couldn't control him, he was a wild animal". "He was pretending to be a baby at one
point"! sighs Marty. "ha, oh yeah, hehe" chuckes Si. "Its okay Si, i'm here for you"! He pats simon on the head.
Signing on was no longer a focal point. 'He' would lash out, laugh at and continue to destroy their lives and they
were too drunk to stop 'im'. "We had no choice, we had to close the link". "It was killing us" Marty explained. So roughly
around the start of 2003 the link was closed. Simon and Marty would not be bothered again by 'im'.
The 'IP' for the link is still active though. And a request for a 'link-up' can be accepted (have a look on the message
board for example).
Many have tried to hack into and misuse our secret 'IP address' but have failed! I would like to point out that it is
a breech of the 'Misuse Of The Link Act 1998'. And you will be fined for doing so.
Q. Why do you refer to 'im as 'im?
A. This is to protect his identity. In a fair world we would be able to plaster his face all over the internet so
people in there thousands would know what he looks like. He would be hunted and killed in a matter of days! Unfortunately,
he is part of the dis-honourable group called Trading Standards. They would close this site down immediately. The only reason
they haven't done so is because it is a good reminder of the filthy kicks they all got when they closed our leader down. God
rest Simon's soul.
Q. I want to give my support. How can i show it?
A. Just drop any spare change you have down your local manhole. You can also donate used underwear or cans of brew.
