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MARTY NEWSFLASH
Not the shelves! Not the shelves!
INTERVIEW PART 2
CONTACT SI
Here we interview the maestro about what has happened....
He Closed Me Down
Laugh at your tackle
Whassat, Marty?
Somewhere between Camden and Islington
TRADING STANDARDS REPORT
I'll Fac'in Get Ya!
Been To Fack'in Tokyo And Back?
Make us a fack'in cup a tea
Can I Call You Si?

The Rise And Fall Of Falcon Records - AND RISE OF FM MUSIC!!!!

 
AUGUST 2004 - SIMON HARDING, AFTER A LONG HIATUS FROM THE SCENE, HAS RESURFACED AS THE MANAGER (YES, MANAGER!) OF FM MUSIC IN THE BARGATE CENTRE OF SOUTHAMPTON! NEWS JUST IN REVEALS HIM TO BE INCREDIBLY HAPPY, FINALLY OFF THE BREW AND READY FOR WAR! MORE AS IT ARRIVES....
 
 
Welcome to Falcon Records, the official site for tramps across London. Well, just two of them actually. Their names are Simon Harding and Martin Griffiths (or Si and Marty as they prefer to be known).
 
So why donate a whole site to these low-lifes? This is because they are not your ordinary brew heads, they were literally forced into the underworld. They had no choice. Their homes were destroyed and their business (a successful independent record shop - a pillar of the community) closed down right before their own eyes - no one deserves that.
 
Rumours have it that if you go into the shop which housed Falcon Records (now a toy store) and listen closely, you can still hear the cries of "setup, setup, you facka set me up".
 
So who is responsible for these horrific events? Believe it or not, it was an inside job. "He was such a sweet little boy" cries Simon. "as soon as we saw his Manic hoody, we knew he was right for us" confirms Marty. The boy in question was a work experience pupil sent from a nearby school. This boy is sick, no question. Troubled childhood prehaps? How could they have known? They didn't stand a chance. 
 
So this is why Simon and Marty - icons forever, have their own website
 
This website is designed to give you an insight into their lives, record shop & musical tastes, sexuality, cups of fac'in tea and ultimately, their demise by the hands of one bitter and twisted work experience pupil.....

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PLEASE NOTE:

I am not to be held responsible for any action made by Simon or Marty as a result of this website.
 
This includes:
-Asking for change
-Directing strange orgasmic sounds and/or abuse at you
-Stealing your wallet and/or clothes (including underwear)
-Splashing the brew over your new Gucci outfit
 
On a different note,  you might notice that i love and hate them... well that can't be helped!

WEBSITE GUIDE.
 
HE CLOSED ME DOWN - The haunting story of Falcon Records. Be afraid. Now updated to include the euphoric tale surrounding FM Music.
 
LAUGH AT YOUR TACKLE - A page filled with tabloid trash. Are Simon & Marty really shagging? Get your Simon nude shots now!
 
SOMEWHERE BETWEEN CAMDEN & ISLINGTON - This page is for you. Here we point out black spots in London where you are likely to find trouble.
 
I'LL FAC'IN GET YA! - A page about the twisted work experience pupil - know your enemy! NB:- This was to be about the scumbag in question until Si's return to stardom, at which point we were threatened into letting Trading Standards use the page to have their say.
 
BEEN TO FACK'IN TOKYO AND BACK? - The page where all your questions are answered - if by magic! And no, we don't have any aspirin for you Brew Hangover!
 
MAKE US A FACK'IN CUP A TEA - Famous mug shots of our very own action men, Si and Mar. Still in its early days, but you get the picture (arf!)
 
CAN I CALL YOU SI? - The Falcon Records community board. Whether you love or hate him, we are all united here!
 
HERE WE INTERVIEW THE MAESTRO ABOUT WHAT HAS HAPPENED - Yes, that's right, The Master of Underground Metal gives his side of the story of his rebirth on this very page! Best read with a glass of chardonnay....
 
INTERVIEW PART 2 - God, reading this is like partying like it's 1998 all over again. If this page had a sountrack it would almost certainly be 'Under the Bridge.' Emotional, beautiful stuff.
 
NOT THE SHELVES! NOT THE SHELVES! - This is hopefully a defematory load of cack, whereby the question of Marty's whereabouts is raised.
 
TRADING STANDARDS REPORT - Hands up those of you who care....no, us neither!
 
WHASSAT MARTY? - It's a page describing your many unofficial impressions and quotes, Si!
 
CONTACT SI - We kid you not. No, really - go on, have a look!

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Dirty, filthy, repulsive, smelly, grubby, call them what you like. But dont call them your friends...