MARTY: 'It's me.'

SI: 'Sorry, I think you've....'

MARTY: 'Don't even think about hanging up on me.'

SI: 'Whaddayou want?'

MARTY: 'Retribution, Si, retribution.'

SI: 'Nah, sorry mate, we don't stock that 'ere. This is a record shop you've come throught to.'

MARTY: 'Ha! I see you're still a bit of a joker then, Si. You still like a good laugh.'

SI: 'Yeah, an' I bet you still like a swift half.'

MARTY: 'Shut it. You don't want this to get nasty now, do you?'

SI: 'Aw! Aw! What ya gonna do? Ask me for a bit o' spare change? So you can go an' buy yer Brew? Is that what this is all about?'

MARTY: 'Don't try and get funny with me, Si. I'm coming to get you.'

SI: 'Aw, listen to that! I'm shittin' meself now!...Yep, alright Adam, I'm fine. Just a kid on the phone...'

MARTY: 'A kid?!'

SI: '...yeah, I'll see ya tomorrow! Cheers!'

MARTY: 'You piece of shit. I thought we were business partners.'

SI: 'You still 'ere?'

MARTY: 'Oooooiiii! Listen to me, you fucking pile of curly-haired cuntslime!'

SI: 'Aw, no need to be like that! Don't want you straining yerself now, do we, Mar'ee?'

MARTY: 'I'm gonna rip your head off and shove it up your arse.'

SI: 'Good idea. Now try doin' it after 12 Brews!'

MARTY: 'I mean it.'

SI: 'Or is it the Tennants today?'

MARTY: 'You'll be sorry.'

SI: 'Oh yeah, silly me, it's just White Ace these days, innit? Aw, diddums!'

MARTY: 'I'm in the shopping centre, you know.'

SI: 'Yeah, it's amazing what those fac'in sewers can look like after a can o' lighter fluid, innit, Marzipan?'

MARTY: 'No. The good old Bargate.'

SI: 'Yeah, course. How is Camden High Street, anyway? You must be runnin' outta coppers, Mar'ee. Best save some for ya next tinnie, eh?'

MARTY: 'I'm not in a phonebox, you fuckwit. I'm on a mobile and I'm heading your way.'

SI: 'Yeah, course you are. Whatever.'

MARTY: 'In fact, I can see you.'

SI: 'Glad I can't see you.'

MARTY: 'You're wearing grey combats and a black T-Shirt.'

SI: 'You wot?'

MARTY: 'And a small black bracelet.'

SI: 'Lucky guess. Has 'e been in spyin' on me?'

MARTY: 'Don't pick your nose.'

SI: '....'

MARTY: 'If I was you, I'd check out back.'

SI: 'Right. Where are ya? You ain't there, you arse.'

MARTY: 'Better have a look at what I put underneath the counter last night.'

SI: 'What? Lemme 'ave a look...'

MARTY: 'Find anything?'

SI: 'Stop whisperin', you stinkin' shit....I'm 'avin a look.'

MARTY: 'There's a customer you need to serve.'

SI: 'Wot? Oh...'Ow can I help y...'

MARTY: 'HELLO SI!'

SI: 'NO! NO! NOT THE SHELVES! NOT THE SHELVES!'

MARTY: 'Take off your clothes. Now.'

 

CHAPTER 2

 

SI: 'Why? Whaddayawant with my facin' clothes? Silly question, look at the state o' ya!'

MARTY: 'Don't play the smartarse with me. Just do as you're told.'

SI: 'I thought I was the boss round 'ere.'

MARTY: 'Many moons ago, Si, many moons ago. But who took charge in the sewers?'

SI: 'Who'd wanna take charge in the fac'in sewers?'

MARTY: 'IT WAS ME, ALRIGHT, ME! I CLOTHED YOU! I FED YOU!'

SI: 'Awright, keep ya grotty little beard on. So ya clothed me? In what? A pair o' fac'in pants made outta leaves? Don't make me laugh! An' ya fed me? On pigs' piss, sorry, Special Brew?'

MARTY: 'You're sailing very close to the mark, Si!'

SI: 'Well in that case, I think I'll set sail in the other facin' direction, you smell like you 'aven't 'ad a wash in years - Ooops!'

MARTY: 'REMOVE THOSE FUCKING CLOTHES!'

SI: 'God, how many ciders 'ave you 'ad today?''

MARTY: 'I'm warning you.'

SI: 'An' I'm scared.'

MARTY: 'You should be.'

SI: 'Me legs are tremblin'.'

MARTY: 'They should be.'

SI: 'An' I think I've just wet myself...ooh, actually, it was just you, Marty!'

MARTY: 'RIGHT! THAT'S ENOUGH! I'LL STAB YOU IF YOU DON'T REMOVE THOSE COMBATS!'

SI: 'Awrightt Marty, put the knife away....there's a good boy....you can 'ave me clothes....You look like you need a changee...'

MARTY: 'I don't want your fucking clothes.'

SI: 'Wot?'

MARTY: 'Come on, pants as well....I said, I don't want your clothes!'

SI: 'So why am I giving 'em to ya?'

MARTY: 'You're not.'

SI: 'Then wot am I doin'?'

MARTY: 'You're giving me your body.'